Thursday, February 23, 2006

God, I hate Florida!


There, I said it! Whew, that felt good. Not all of Florida actually, just the sagging teet part that is actually remnants of a more gregarious lifestyle called New York and the Beltway that happened to sag a little too far in it's aged brassiere.
Tallahassee was fantastic, Old South charm mixed with politics, education, and a healthy dose of College Town! Upon graduating though, we made our way down south to the promised land of islands, keys and money, a Chef's dream! Lot's of parties, restaurants, country clubs, entertaining, just enough to make a Certified Executive Chef a healthy living, coupled with a playground of off duty Paradise. Boy what a mistake. The complete and total anhialation of the Middle Class, and going on right under our noses.
Go figure? Never have I met a more angry, elitist, self-absorbed breed of people in my life! No, really, these folks bring a new smudge to the tarnished Pot of Gold. Imagine, gather up a large group of Golden Parachutes, drop them in one place, fortify them with a throng of wannabees, and poof! Paradise Lost.
Now let me explain, you would think with an elitist audience, there would be a wild demand for sevice industry related work, right? And with a high demand, there would be a fine living to be made for a talanted individual? And you would think, with a demand and a payscale there would be an infrastructure to abide? Wrong, enter the formation of a two class society, here in America, Welcome to Southwest Florida.
Starter homes (shacks, actually) priced at $200,000 and climbing. Vehicle profiling, you actually will be stopped in a number of areas if your non Lexus auto is seen as "out of place". Spas and boutiques abound, Walmarts are scarce. Developments of reasonably priced modest homes are often slated as "55 and over". Where and how is this growing legion of support industry workers supposed to abide itself?
Economics aside, turn to the actual contempt these GP's (Golden Parachuters) and wanabees show to those of us relegated to the common world! Granted, I originated in Texas, and grew up learning to drive with one hand, while the other was used to wave at oncoming traffic in a friendly manner. But seriously, I wonder how the haves can actually view us "havenots" with such disdain? Who will do there laundry? Really, who's gonna cut there lawns, bathe there pushed out elderly, feed there children, or God forbid, wash ther toilets?
Now, being on the upper end of the havenots (2 class society, remember?) having rightfully aquired my very own 34 foot gem of an RV to reside in! Speaking from the lofty realm of "Trailer Trash" status, I often wonder if these ninnies ever consider the consequences of there actions? Hmmmm....let's think for a moment. GP Fred has an auto accident and completely berates the other driver in a flurry of words, threats and gestures. How dare driver 2 even have that old peice of sH*% 1999 Taurus on the road with his magnificent Lexus coupe convertable! I mean Really!! My Lawyer son will be in touch, and never mind the fact that it was I who ran the redlight, I shall prevail scum! he exclaims. Long story short, the GP takes his Precious in to the shop and un known to him, "scum's nephew" is the mechanic. Review: GP has a loud mouth and a Lawyer Son. Scum has a quiet way and a Mechanic Nephew. Really now, can't these omnipotent fools realize that it is easier to shake the foundation from down here!?!? $9000 later, and Precious is back on the road, for a while....till the engine develops a nasty little tick that requires multiple visits for attention... no worries, he has an excellent mechanic, er.., "whathisname".
I just might have to visit the foolishness in waiter bashing, or worse, unnecessary food criticising to the lowly chef. Yes, maybe later.

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