Friday, January 05, 2007

A Return To Civility?

I pondered for a moment just now, on wether or not to place a question mark at the end of my story's title or not. Is there a freudian inference there? Probably, but far be it from me to have the inteligence to figure it out, I just liked the look of a question mark there. See how that works? No need for a call to the Left to support my subersive questioning stance, nor any cause to rabble the Right by mocking my abscence of a period, even at the end of this very sentence (nice touch, huh)? Just a simple statement presented as a question because I happen to like the curvy little fellow.

As of this week, the Questions are in control for now, and the Periods are, well, shall we say,having a period of regret. Yet the band plays on, as do we all here. "Friday, January 5th, 2007, and that's the way it is." (God I miss Walter..) So for now the Walter Wannabees are the voice of the land, the spinners of yarn, and the tellers of tales here and abroad, taunting the Periods with Questions, some Questions more bold than others, and others just plain foolish! Enter the Exclamation Points, a rather pompous version of the Periods, known for their outlandish and unyeilding remarks...a Period that has been shafted, if you will. Exclamation Points have a great tendancy to not only offer a single sided view, but speak with absolute authority!

Watch this for example;
The Period says "The man had to die."
Question replies "Oh really? Did he now? And prey tell, who told you that?"
Exclamation joins the fray and declares on Period's behalf "And God so loved the earth, he gave his only begotten son!!!"
Mixed Metaphor enters stage right "I thought we were talking about Saddam? What the hell is going on here?!?" (note the cunning use of both ponderance and authority simultaneously?)

Here is the idea when applied to current political news;
The Questionable authority in the House was forced to step aside today, and hand over the gabble of greatness to Pelosi? "Wow, never saw that coming last June." stated a somewhat subdued Period. When asked to comment on the day's events, Exclamation Point replied with impuned authority "This is not only an outrage, it is against God's will!" A somewhat Mixed Metaphor was seen later talking with George Will, and asking him why the outrage was against him!?

When used to explain how Government works, it can go like this;
It was announced today that the Nuclear Agency Head was asked to resign today by the Bush adminstration. (Period)

What? The man with 40 years of experience in national security and nuclear nonproliferation issues? He led the negotiating team that worked on the START arms reduction treaty signed with Russia in 1991, didn't he? The guy who was widely respected for his knowledge of nuclear weapons and nonproliferation issues, and has been a target of some members of Congress? (Question)

"His departure is long overdue!" Barton, R-Texas, said Thursday, and besides, with Democrats now in charge of the House and Senate, there has been talk of hearings into the administration's response to security breaches at the labs! (Exclamation Point)

If the guy was put in charge of the henhouse with a stellar record of experince in nonproliferation negotiations and policies, was he really expected to be the "buck stops here" guy in a question of security? Hmmm wonder what that boss of his, er...Sam Bodman, yeah, wasn't he in charge when the first round of really bad security breaches happened? What the f@4??!??!!! (yep, the Mixed up Metaphor Guy)

Well, back to my original musing, why did I use a curvy dude, instead of a dot or worse, a dot that's been shafted?!....hmmm Oh yes, lest I forget. The Immortal and Timeless Guru of Network News From All Time, yes Charles Gibson the Gifted, predicted during his ramblings at President Ford's funeral that we were poised for a "return to civility" in not only American Politics, but also in American life in general. It must be so, because his copy editor said so, right after he talked with that jovial laughing fellow, er...Yeah!, Mr Mixed Metaphor, that was the guy, man he sure did laugh alot....oh well.