Wednesday, January 10, 2007

State Of The Confusion

an advance peek at the President's speech tonight...

My fellow Amuricans, I have met with my advisers, sponsors, advertisers, stock brokers, and co-conspiritors, and I stand before you tonight to inform you that The State Of The Confusion is good! Sadamma bin Laden is dead, hanged by the neck in front of a 5 share TV audience of his peerless foes, and rebroadcast to the masses by my good friends at CNN. Wicked Witch of the West, Pelosi, has been seen stirring her magic cauldron of sin, and my good friend Rev. Fellwell is in the midst of destroying the Yellow Brick Road in precaution as we speak. Vice President Haliburton has orders to bomb the DNC at a moment's notice, and I have just renamed Somalia as New Kansas.(Sorry Toto, we lost the old one...) Last, but not least, the evildoer of doom, Sir Kennedy of the Round Table, was seen dining at the lair of the insidious Osama Barrack, and has been stripped of his driver's license in retribution.
I have moved from my stance of the last address given, referring to an "Axis of Evil", to a more poignant position that says we are not simply faced by a triad of evil nations verses the World, but rather that we, Amurica, have joined my very good buddy Tony B. and England, in forming a new more powerful, faster than lightning, able to leap tall United Nation buildings in a single vote, Bilateral menage Au dux, to be forthwith known as the "New, New World Order Force"...or more lovingly referred to as "Neocon Nitwits With Oral Fixations". Welcome to my nightmare." where did I lay my binky?...

The State Of The Confusion, now that's a moniker I could live with more easily each January I believe. Each year it seems that Boy George crawls out from the bowls of his McRanch and bellows fodder even more fowl than on the previous year, until now when so much manure has been shoveled, that all that is left is Confusion, no longer any glimpse of a Union.

How much longer will we continue to tolerate this divisive Boy King and his madness? 20,000 more troops into a civil war without end? Support for a Prime Minister who picks and chooses the support he himself adds to the cause? A man who cannot listen to even his own party as they break ranks and cross lines in support of legislation borne by Democrats?

Boy Blunder proposes a "surge" of troops against the rising tide in Iraq. Equivalent likely, to the surge that is left in Ol' Joe's love machine after a 12 rounder with the Prom Queen's twin sister while watching CSPAN coverage of Clarence's confirmation hearings! The kind of "surge" that left us in a "police action in two former "non wars". The kind of surge that gets young men and women killed and exposes soon to come greater and even far more impotent "surges" in the future.

Here's a good one, the president "understands there is a lot of public anxiety" about the war, ya think? I mean with all that death and dismemberment stuff, you'd think the masses would be begging for more?! Hey, we could even get Simon Cowell to moderate, you know kinda like reality TV style, oops er wait, this is reality huh? The president "understands there is a lot of public anxiety", so should we say Xanax for everyone? Prosac? What ever happened to plain old peace talks? Now there's a shocker, problem is, we just let them hang the one to talk to, unless you really believe Maliki is in charge...hmmm...who would we talk peace with? Muhammad?Allah? The Iranians? Haliburton perhaps? Yes folks, there is no time for Kansas here, The State Of The Confusion is good.